Evaluating Listening Skills & Nonverbal Behaviour

I observed a conversation between my father and his friends when I went to watch their football friendly match. When my father entered the conversation, they greeted each other with handshakes and “How are you”s. Everyone had a cigarette in their hands and my father joined in.

I noticed that they use hand gestures often. For example, when one of them talked about picking up the others, he pointed to different directions to represent the different locations he drove to. Another would point in the direction he arrived from which made the rest divert their attention to the pointed location. Often, the hand they use to point was the hand which held their cigarette. After pointing or talking, they would smoke almost immediately.

Another thing I noticed was that they were very loud. They would raise their voices to emphasise certain words. When they talked about the weather, my father would raise his voice slightly. For the sentence “It rained heavily in Bukit Panjang,” he placed emphasis on the word “heavily” to stress that it rained cats-and-dogs.  

When one of them were talking, I observed that the others had a relaxed posture as they listened. They would lean towards one side as they placed more pressure on one foot. If they were not smoking at that moment, they would place their hands behind their backs or in their pockets. They maintained good eye contact unless if they were looking out for their friends who had yet to arrive.

In my opinion, their positive behaviour may be due to having known each other for a long time. They would tease each other and laugh it off. The gesture of shaking hands when they meet may be influenced by culture. It is a norm for Malays to greet each other by shaking hands.

Strengths and Challenges in Communicating

Q: Describe your strengths in communication and the challenges you have when communicating with others. In view of this, state two objectives you will set for yourself to achieve by the end of this course.

A: Communication is a way of exchanging information via a medium which can be verbal or non-verbal. People communicate to understand one another. However, there are barriers that may affect our interpretation of the information received and result in a misunderstanding.

I feel that a strength I have in communication would be my ability to receive information. During interpersonal communication and in small groups, I am able to give my full attention to the person relaying their message. For example, I will maintain eye contact with the speaker. I would usually nod or hum to indicate that I am listening attentively to the speaker. Another strength I have would be my ability to relay non-verbal messages, such as texting and writing e-mails. I feel that I have the ability to write clear and precise sentences that allows the receiver to understand my message. When writing text messages, I would send multiple messages instead of a long paragraph to ensure that the message I am sending over is easier to read. 

Some challenges I face when communicating with others would be expressing my thoughts verbally. Sometimes, I speak too fast, stutter, and when I am tired, I slur my words. Many times people have misunderstood my messages because of my pronunciation. Sometimes I avoid speaking because I worry that I will be misunderstood again and embarrass myself. Another challenge I face would be my ability of giving feedback. I feel that I do not give good enough feedback to people when they ask for it.

What I would like to achieve by the end of this course, firstly, would be to improve my ability of giving feedback. I would like to be of help to others when they have approached me for my opinion. Secondly, I want to improve my speech. I want to speak clearer and have a better stage presence so that I will not be misunderstood often, and be confident enough to start conversations.


Note: Underlined sentences were recently added on 5/2/17

Setting my own objectives

How important is it for me to develop effective communication skills?
What will I do in this course to help myself develop as an effective interpersonal communicator?

It is important for me to develop effective communication skills. I want to learn to better understand other people, and communicate my thoughts and ideas accurately and clearly. In my opinion, developing effective communication skills allows people to build and maintain relationships where we can respect and trust one another. Not only do I want to be able to share my ideas, I want to be able to listen and understand the ideas and thoughts of others. To help myself develop as an effective interpersonal communicator, I will participate in discussions and learn to listen actively to others. I will apply the things I will learn in this course. When a person talks, I will respect him/ her by listening attentively and do my best to provide constructive feedback.